All Dressed Up


Too often little ones are left behind, disappointed with unfulfilled expectations, or involuntarily removed from a loved parent. Parents in divorce are often blinded to their children’s needs by their struggles to adjust to single life, new surroundings, increased demands on their time, heavily taxed in their accounts by support obligations and court fees. Parents are sometimes forgetful for their children’s adjustments to new surroundings and schedules. Visitation and custody orders require some level of cooperative parenting at a time for parents when vindication not cooperation is important to them. How often can a child be left behind by late arrivals for visitation exchanges? By tactically maneuvered strategies to make visits less convenient or by outright concealment by hiding or by making contact impossible by relocations, alienations or false claims of domestic violence? The consequence for the jilted child remains the same despite the cause. All dressed up and ready, but no place to go perhaps constitutes one of the most severe disappointments — and thus most detrimental insults for children.
The fallout of repeated stressors of this kind for a child portends lifelong negative consequences for children physically, emotionally and psychologically. By promoting parenting counseling and professional intervention early on in the divorce process we have for the past thirty years been focusing on our clients’ children by encouraging a cooperative spirit of parenting partnerships after the matrimonial bonds have broken. Child psychologist, Dr William Jay Dess, and others like him have since 1980 provided an early and affordable resource for our clients to focus first on our children. It is for them that the warning bells toll. PJM.

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