Single fatherhood is on the rise in the U.S. Let’s take a dive into learning more about who these dads are in this infographic.
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Provided by: FathersRights.com
Single fatherhood is on the rise in the U.S. Let’s take a dive into learning more about who these dads are in this infographic.
Provided by: FathersRights.com
With the role of parent comes the inclination to fix things. When our babies cry, we look for a solution with a warm bottle or a dry diaper. As our kids grow and start to become more independent, we sometimes hold on to the idea of “fixing” everything, of stepping in and protecting them from any discomfort life might serve our children.
But fixing everything for our kids can actually be harmful, and too much coddling can rob children of the joy of personal accomplishment and developing their own work ethic.
Here are a few ways to avoid coddling your children into a dysfunctional adult life, but still remain an involved parent.
Assign chores. Some families like to add a dollar amount to completed chores as a way to teach about economics and real-world earnings, and this is perfectly fine. But you might want to consider having some chores that offer no monetary compensation after a job well done. These chores should involve personal responsibility, like putting away their own laundry or clearing their own spot from the dinner table. Let your kids know that you will not do everything for them—not now, and not when they are grown.
Allow failure. This is perhaps the toughest thing for a parent to do, but it’s important that kids do not always succeed—or that when they do, it is because of their own hard work. It’s okay to step in and help with difficult homework or to help practice for a sport, but do not step in and try to make it easier for your child. When they fail at something, make it teachable moment and encourage them to try again. Remind them that failure only occurs when you give up, and sometimes reaching a goal takes several attempts.
Foster independence. Find safe ways for your kids to exercise some of their own freedom. When your child is a toddler or in lower elementary school, consider sending them to structured classes where parents are not present. As they get a little older, let them walk ahead of you on the way home from school or go to an overnight camp. Find ways for your kids to make their own choices without you looking over their shoulders. If they make a bad choice, you’ll be there to talk them through it and help them learn from it.
Set limits. Implement a bed time. Put a time limit on electronic time. Ban phones and tablets from the dinner table. Talk about behavior expectations when your kids are at school or friends’ houses. Let your kids know what you expect of them and give them a chance to make you proud.
What are some tips you have for building confidence in your kids?
The makeup of a household has changed a lot since 1960, when 92% of them were headed by two married parents. That figure is decreasing, but the number of homes with single dads is on the rise. In this infographic we will explore what it means to be a single dad in America and how to address the challenges of single parenting.
Provided by: FathersRights.com
Raising a son to be thoughtful, caring, and inquisitive is a challenge for anyone, especially with so many societal pressures and a changing perception of what “being a man” even means. Let’s sweep that off the table and look at how you can raise a well-rounded son. Following these simple tips can help give you traits of a great dad.
1. Let him show his emotions.
Even in the modern day, boys are expected to stifle their tears, to grit their teeth and smile through the pain. As long as he isn’t being destructive, acting out, or presenting a danger to himself or others, let your son express his emotions, whether it’s from watching a sad movie or experiencing a great loss.
Once the tears stop, you can talk to him about his feelings and why he felt them. From there you can label the emotion—sad, angry, disappointed, hurt. Help him understand that all of these emotions are valid.
2. Offer plenty of physical affection.
Boys need just as much physical contact as girls. Hugs, cuddles, and kisses will help your son feel safe, secure, and loved. As they get older, they may shy away from physical affection, especially when they’re around friends, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop altogether or that they don’t want that affection. Sneak in a quick hug when no one is looking or give them a shoulder squeeze when you’re working together in the kitchen.
3. Encourage his interests.
Whether he wants to dance, skateboard, cook, paint, or play basketball, encourage and support his interests. You’ll instill a strong sense of self, which will build his confidence and self-esteem.
4. Don’t quell his energy.
Most little boys are bundles of energy. That energy can get pent up if he doesn’t have the opportunity to run, explore, and play. Just make sure he understands that there is a right time and place to expend his energy. Remind him that the dinner table and the classroom are places where he might want to pullback.
5. …but don’t worry if he’s not energetic.
We’re all prone to our moments of quiet solitude. If he wants to spend time inside drawing, reading, or imagining, don’t force him to go outside. These moments of introspection are just as important to his development. Ask him if he’s feeling well, and if he appears to be doing fine emotionally or otherwise, leave him to his own devices. He’ll be running, hooting, and hollering in no time.
6. Read often.
You can never start reading to your son too early. Reading to a preschooler encourages reading skills and language development and opens up whole new worlds for imagination, creative thinking, and problem solving.
7. Don’t worry about him being “masculine enough.”
People often describe masculinity with words like strength, courage, and independence. There are countless women who exhibit those same traits and plenty of men who don’t, so don’t worry about your son being masculine enough. Let him be himself. You will find that he is definitely enough.
5 Great Dads from History (And What You Can Learn from Them)
History is filled with fantastic fathers who have not only kept their kids out of harm, but also gave them the room to grow and flourish as individuals. Fatherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual, but a look through the history books can provide a wealth of information. Let’s take a look at the traits of great dads from history and what you can learn from them.
1. Li Yanwen
Li Yanwen was a Chinese doctor who lived around 1500 A.D. His son was Li Shizhen, another doctor who would become the greatest Chinese naturalist. But Li Yanwen originally wanted his son to go into the government. However, Li Shizhen was more interested in medicine than state bureaucracy—in fact, he failed the civil service exams three times.
Li Yanwen eventually gave in and mentored his son in Chinese medicine, and it’s a good thing he did. Li Shizhen went on to author the Bencao Gangmu, a medical text that featured extensive details about over 1,800 herbal drugs and their prescriptions. The text has been translated into countless languages and remains the foremost reference for herbal medicine.
The Takeaway: Support your kids’ passions, even if they don’t line up with what you want for them.
2. Charles Darwin
The father of evolutionary theory was also a great dad to 10 of his own kids. He was a
doting father who had an integral role in raising and educating his kids. He was active in his children’s lives, encouraging their freedom and raising them at a time when childrearing was considered “women’s work.”
The Takeaway: Be actively involved in your kids’ lives.
King of the Franks, Emperor of the Romans, Charlemagne had a whopping 20 children, but he made sure all received a thorough education, regardless of gender or social stature. Charlemagne treated his son, Pepin the Hunchback (named for a spinal deformity), with great love and care.
When he wasn’t chosen to be his father’s successor, Pepin plotted Charlemagne’s assassination. The plot was exposed, but instead of ordering Pepin’s execution, Charlemagne took pity and sent him to a monastery to live out the rest of his days.
The Takeaway: Love your kids for their similarities, but love them even more for their differences.
4. Lieutenant-Colonel George Lucas
Lieutenant-Colonel George Lucas had a daughter named Eliza Lucas (later known as Eliza Lucas Pinckney). He recognized early on that his daughter was special. Instead of forcing onto her the mediocre schooling that upper-class British girls received at the time, Lucas ensured that she gained a real education.
The Lucas family eventually moved to South Carolina from Antigua. By the age of 16, Eliza was running the family’s three plantations. George, who had to return to Antigua, sent his daughter seeds to test in the South Carolina land. Through much trial and error, Eliza successfully grew indigo, launching a successful cash crop that was second only to rice.
The Takeaway: Sometimes, the best thing you can do is step aside and let your kids experiment and recognize their own greatness, but remember to always be there when they need help.
5. Jim Henson
Jim Henson created the Muppets and Sesame Street, so it’s hard to imagine him as anything but playful, fun, and positive. Henson was a loving, supportive father, who, above all, was always ready to play with his kids. The only complaint that his kids had was his long work hours, which they got around by joining the family business.
The Takeaway: You’re never too old to have a great time with your kids.
There are no hard and fast rules to being a dad, so don’t worry if you don’t perfectly line up with history’s great dads. All you need to make sure to do is love your kids, provide wise advice, and always be ready with a well of groan-worthy “dad jokes.”
4 Fun Fall Activities for You and Your Kids
The leaves are changing colors and piling in your backyard. School has started. Sweaters and pants are replacing t-shirts and shorts. Fall is here, but that doesn’t mean the fun has to end. Let’s take a look at some fun activities you can enjoy with your kids this autumn.
1. Have fun with leaves.
The leaves are the highlight of the season, but they also provide plenty of opportunities for fun.
2. Go camping.
Fall is all about nature and enjoying the outdoors. If you live in a more temperate climate or urban setting, you may not have immediate access to the changing leaves, but never fear: the outdoors is but a state park away. Weekend camping with your kids is a great opportunity for you and your kids to unplug and get some fresh air. Remember to pack some warm sweaters, a camera, and plenty of marshmallows—no camping trip is complete without some s’mores!
3. Go apple-picking.
Autumn is apple season, so find a nearby orchard and pick yourself a whole bushel of apples. Aside from being delicious, apples offer a ton of health benefits:
Even better, apples are an incredibly versatile food. Bake them into a pie, make some homemade apple sauce, slice them into your salads, or simply enjoy them alone. No matter how you prepare apples, your kids are sure to want more.
4. Visit your local pumpkin patch.
Pumpkin patches embrace all the great things about autumn and often include corn mazes, hayrides, and more, but you can’t walk away from one without at least one pumpkin in your arms. Your kids can carve the pumpkins into Jack-o-Lanterns (with your help and supervision). Throw the seeds into the oven for a magnesium-rich snack, and use leftover pumpkin in soup, cookies, or the ever-popular pie.
This season offers plenty of surprises. Do a little exploring with your little adventurer, and you’re sure to find some great memories waiting just around the corner.
The passage from middle school or junior high to high school can be a difficult and even scary one for your child. However, with help from dad, your child’s introduction to high school can be a happy and successful one. Here are some tips for a smooth transition into those first weeks of high school.
Before School Starts
If school hasn’t started yet, follow these back to school tips for a successful start to the school year. If it has, remember them for next year.
After School Starts
Keep the momentum going with these tips after the first bell of the school year has rung.
Many schools now offer parents a way to track their children’s grades online. If your school gives you this opportunity, take it. Your child may feel as though their space has been invaded, but it can alert you to problems that need to be addressed before they become serious. It can also aid you in seeing where your child needs tutoring or a less challenging course. On the flip side, you can revel in your student’s academic successes long before that report card comes home.
Talk to your child’s teachers, principal or head teacher, and coaches. Get to know them. One of the biggest complaints from most professional educators is that parents often excuse themselves from the school system. Contacting teachers, even when there’s no problem, shows that you care and that you play an active role in your kid’s life.
Make time for spending time with your child, too. Talk, play, shop, work—just be together. Your child is now a young adult, and while that means that your relationship may be changing, you are still needed and wanted, and for more than just the car keys and spending money.
Help Your Child Stay Connected
Encourage extra-curricular activities that appeal to your child and provide support for him or her to participate. Set up a study area in the home that allows your student a place to tackle that homework quietly and peacefully without interruption or distraction.
If your teen makes a special friend or two (or twenty) or finds that first “love,” set boundaries, but make every effort to make your home a welcome and safe place for the kids to hang. You’ll feel better knowing that your teen isn’t someplace he perhaps shouldn’t be, and you’ll also get an idea of the kinds of peers your child is spending time with and what they are doing with that time.
One of the biggest and most important ways you can help your child through the change from middle school to high school is just to be there. Let him or her know that, despite this newfound young adulthood, dad is still in the picture and will be there for the issues, concerns, and yes, the good stuff too. High school needn’t be the end of the good times, or even the end of childhood. Help make it the fun and happy time it should be!
Although dads and daughters should be bonding at every age, the teenage years can be the most tumultuous for parents and their kids alike. As children start to bridge their childhood years into adulthood, it can be a confusing, difficult, and emotional time. When it comes to dads, daughters may seem downright impossible to communicate with or understand during the teenage years. But this is the time when “little” girls need their fathers the most, so don’t give up on her.
Take a look at a few simple ways to reach out and help your daughter get through the tough times of teenaged life.
Be a constant presence. No, you shouldn’t go with her on her dates or show up randomly when she is hanging out with her friends. Technology has made it easier than ever to let her know that you are thinking of her, even when you aren’t there in person. Send text messages and emails, and even goofy selfies to keep her smiling. Let her know you are always just a text or call away and that you are always thinking of her.
Share your stories. It may seem like an ancient history to you, but relating your own struggles as a teen and young adult may ease some of her own anxieties. Talk about the times you faced challenges, or made poor decisions, and how you picked up and kept on going. Emphasize that things that seem like a big deal in the moment will not matter down the road. Even if she rolls her eyes at your outdated stories and assures you that you can’t possibly understand, tell her anyway. It may make more of an impact than she is willing to share with you.
Step in when it’s warranted. Part of growing up is making your decisions, but occasionally teens need their parents to back them up. If your daughter is fighting a battle that seems to be over her head, step in and help her through it. This may be something as simple as a difficult math class that she is too prideful to ask for help to get through, or could involve peer pressure to engage in dangerous activities. While it is important to give her room to make the right decisions on her own, remember that you are still her parent and that it is okay to intervene when needed.
What advice have you heard about dealing with teenaged daughters? Use the comments below to share your own advice or experiences to help out other dads going through the same challenges.
Some of the most memorable parent-child adventures don’t take a lot of planning. Simple spur-of-the-moment adventures are often the ones that kids remember most!
Take a look at just a few ideas for adventuring with your kids at a moment’s notice.
Go for a bike ride. It sounds simple, but hopping on your bikes and hitting a local road or trail is both exhilarating and easy. Let your kids pick the routes and then follow their lead. Be sure to stop to take in the sights along the way, from trees and lakes to buildings of interest.
Camp out. Pack up your car for a weekend camping with your kids, or just pitch a tent in your backyard. Sleeping under the stars even just 20 feet from your house will give you and your kids to a different perspective on the world and each other. Pack a flashlight to share scary stories after dark, and all the ingredients you need to make s’mores. Hint: try making s’mores with peanut butter cups instead of regular old chocolate!
Plan a scavenger hunt. Turn your home, yard, or neighborhood into one giant puzzle by giving your kids clues that lead to a treasure at the end. Depending on your kids’ ages, the end prize will vary—and it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. The hunt itself is the adventure. It presents a fun way to show your personality and wit to your kids and teaches them work together toward an end goal.
Visit a local flea market or garage sale. Show your kids that there are plenty of cool products in the world that do not come directly from a store shelf. Give them a budget and let them peruse the items at a neighborhood garage or yard sale, or head to a flea market to see many unique items in one place. Pack a lunch, or make ordering lunch at the flea market part of the adventure. At the end of the day, everyone has a trinket to remember the adventure by.
Head to an amusement or water park. Research discounts at theme parks in your area and then surprise your kids with a day trip. Be sure you get in on the fun by hopping on the rides they like and getting wet on any slides or water attractions too. This adventure costs a little more than the others—but with the right planning, a day at an amusement park can be a reasonably priced way to surprise your kids with an in-the-moment adventure.
Sit around a bonfire. You don’t need to commit to an entire night or weekend of camping to enjoy its most cherished tradition: sitting around a campfire, sharing snacks and stories. Dig a bonfire pit in your backyard, or head to a local park or beach that allows bonfires. Roast hot dogs and marshmallows, and if anyone is musically inclined, sing songs around the campfire!
What simple adventures have been favorites in your house?
The summer months are synonymous with relaxation, family time, and having good old-fashioned fun. Even parents who do not have much time off from work can find ways to sneak in some warm-weather fun while the kids are out of school. Take a look at just a few fun activities you should schedule with your kids this summer below.
Even if all you do is set up a tent in the backyard and make S’mores in your fire pit, enjoy the warm weather the summer months afford and spend a night outside. For those kids that are more adventurous, you can take them on a weekend long camping trip. Along with your sleeping bags and bug spray, don’t forget to bring along some flashlights and your favorite ghost stories.
Visit a Fair
Head to the county fair or a local festival and split a corn dog and an elephant ear together. See if there will be any bands or musicians and enjoy an evening of live music and dancing too. The great thing about summer fairs is that not much has changed since you were a kid. You may find fair favorites of your own that you’ve forgotten over the years!
See a Movie—in the Middle of the Day
Escape the hottest hours of the day by heading to a matinee showing of a big summer blockbuster. Some theaters even offer reduced or free family movie days, so take advantage of the discounts and the quiet time with your kids.
Play Board Games
It can be difficult to pry electronic games and entertainment from kids’ hands, even toddlers. Set aside some time to disconnect from technology for the entire family (including parents) and take turns picking out board games to play.
Go Berry Picking
Summer is ripe with some of the year’s best fruits, including strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Find a local picking farm and then head out to harvest your own fruit. To make it a full experience, choose a few recipes—a cobbler, muffins, etc.—to try out with your spoils.
Work Together on Home Projects
Find a few fun ways to spruce up the home for the summer and get the whole family in on the fun. Summer is the perfect time to rearrange, repaint, redecorate kids’ bedrooms, and create serene outdoor spaces. Getting your kids involved helps them to learn new skills, contribute to the home, feel good about their work, and enjoy the new space even more.
To kick it up a notch, take any of these suggestions and turn them into a yearly summer tradition! Give yourself and your kids something to look forward to every year—spending quality time together and having lots of fun in the process.