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If you have full custody of your kids and they live with you in your home, you probably already have established routines, activities, times when you see each other, and times when you’re apart. But when your kids live with you part time or you live in distant geographical locations, it can be hard to adjust to having them around and the sudden need to plan activities for children.

Every divorced family has its own unique custody arrangement. Regardless of the amount of time your kids live with you, it’s a good idea to have activities planned in advance, both for your time spent with them and the times when you’re at work or attending to other business. If you’re lucky enough to have time off with your kids—and even if you’re going on a vacation with your kids—planned activities keep them engaged in the world and help create meaningful experiences during their time with you.

Ideas for Dads in the City
The city is loaded with activities for kids if you know where to look, and many of them are affordable or free. Check your local library or community center for a publication highlighting all the free activities offered for kids, as well as classes ranging from tumbling and dance to art, music, and crafts.

Take advantage of educational and cultural amenities such as museums, zoos, aquariums, children’s museums, performances, and exhibits. Cities are also full of parks and many have urban forest trails and gardens where you can escape for a beautiful nature walk without leaving the city. Cities have indoor playgrounds, roller skating, ice skating, climbing walls, and much more all designed for kids.

Ideas for Dads in the Country
It can be difficult to interest some older children in outdoor activities, but there are tons of recreational opportunities for kids in the country, in addition to all the local community events, performances, and other attractions small towns offer. Camping, hiking, fishing, hunting, nature walks, and country drives are all fun for kids of various ages. There may be opportunities in your area like rock climbing, rafting, canoeing, mountain biking, and skiing, ice skating, or sledding in the wintertime.

Ideas for Weekend Dads
The weekend is a short chunk of time, but if you don’t have to work and they don’t have school you can have concentrated time with your kids.

If the weather is nice you can plan a camping trip, backpacking excursion, or other overnight adventure, or you can plan a day-long activity like a trip to the beach, zoo, countryside, city, and the amusement park.

If you’re stuck indoors, try a weekend-long puzzle marathon, building a giant fort or haunted house, making a big dinner together, or ordering out for pizza and a movie.

Ideas for Summertime Dads
If you have your kids for the summer or an extended period of more than a week or two, chances are you have to work and they won’t be in school. You may have to find daycare, a nanny, day camps, babysitters, or a combination of caretakers and activities, depending on the ages of your children.

This is where helpful teenagers can be a real blessing, by providing some free babysitting and even driving themselves and the younger ones to scheduled activities, so don’t forget to reward them with some gas money and some age-appropriate activities of their own.

If you can take time off work or a paid vacation, this may be the time to cash it in and plan a trip or simply some time off with your kids. Don’t forget to find, plan, or schedule some activities for them during these times as well.

If your kids play summer sports or are involved in other local activities when they live with you, consider coaching a team, leading a group, or assisting with the activity as a way to spend more time with your kids.

Ideas for Dads of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
These little ones need plenty of age-appropriate activities and ideas to fall back on, but they may also spend part of the day napping or having some downtime. It’s easier to plan activities at home for younger kids, but don’t forget to get them out of the house for some playtime too, at the nearest park, playground, or simply on a walk around town.

Zoos, aquariums, children’s museums, and adult museums with children’s exhibits are all great options at this age, as is hiking with the child in a backpack. If you have a toddler or preschooler living with you over the summer, try enrolling her in a tumbling, music, or other movement or rhythm-based class, and plan get-togethers with other parents that have children the same age.

Ideas for Dads of Teenagers
Your child may want to hide away in his room or he may be easily engaged, and he may act both ways at different times! Don’t expect too much from your teenagers, as it’s natural for them to want to stay at home and avoid activities altogether. Teenagers with younger siblings may be more likely to help or engage in activities with them.

Try movies, sporting events, trips to the mall, bowling, a visit to an amusement park, or even a live show with one of their favorite bands. Invite them to participate in some of the same activities you enjoy in your free time, whether it’s golf, video gaming, or a trip to the gym. Help this age group make friends in your town or neighborhood by getting together with other fathers and teenagers and helping them connect with local kids you already know.

Some dads are culinary geniuses, while others are all thumbs when it comes to the kitchen. And even if a dad can cook, there’s no guarantee that his kids will eat what he’s prepared.

One common obstacle many single dads experience is the transition between meal planning and cooking when the kids are in the house versus when they’re at mom’s. Everything from grocery shopping to meal preparation and cleanup becomes more complicated, and the more kids you have the more perilous it can get.

Smaller children tend to prefer simpler foods, while many teenagers have developed a more complex palette… but not always. Younger kids can be open to trying new foods or “adult” foods, while sometimes older kids have formed strong opinions about the foods they think they don’t like.

If cooking and meal planning isn’t your forte or your kids are just picky eaters, try some of these healthy, child-friendly meal ideas and tips.

Start at the drawing board. If your kids can talk then they can tell you which foods they like and dislike. Sit down with the family and map out some ideas together, even if it’s just a list of acceptable ingredients and meals. Ask them about both foods and meals—what do they like for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks? Which food items are blacklisted from their personal menus?

Plan a balanced menu. When it comes to kids a balanced meal doesn’t just mean the four foods groups. It also means offering a variety of foods to ensure that everyone eats something, if there are picky eaters around. For example, don’t just serve spaghetti and meatballs; also add a salad or side vegetable, bread, and slices of apple. 

“Cook” only one meal a day. Meal planning, preparation, and cleanup can be a lot of work, and you want to spend time with your kids instead of your kitchen stove and sink. Make things easier on yourself by cooking one labor-intensive meal each day and keeping the other ones simple.

For most families the big meal of the day is dinner, so eat a no-cook breakfast like cereal and a lunch of leftovers or sandwiches, for example, when planning a more extensive dinner. On days that you cook a big breakfast, consider pizza delivery that night or a late lunch followed by some evening snacks.

Keep plenty of snacks on hand. It’s healthier for kids to graze than to eat large meals, as long as they’re eating whole foods. Fresh fruits, cheeses, nuts and nut butters, popcorn, avocado slices, sunflower seeds, and raw veggies dipped in hummus or salad dressing are all healthy, easy-to-prepare snacks that can be a great supplement between meals.

Make “fun” foods. Fun foods are healthy foods that taste great because they look fun to eat. Fun foods require a lot of creativity but not necessarily extensive cooking skills, so they can be inspirational for creative dads that don’t cook much. Some examples of fun foods include:

• Ants on a log – celery boats filled with nut butter and topped with raisins
• Pancake designs – take the Mickey Mouse pancake one step further with your own customized templates
• Egg shapes – cook a plain, flat omelet and then use a pizza cutter to slice it into fun shapes, letters, and numbers
• Smoothies – combine a banana and your kids’ favorite fresh or frozen fruit, yogurt, and diluted fruit juice in a blender for a healthy snack. Freeze as homemade popsicles for a treat on a hot day. 
• Homemade French fries – try any number of recipes online or make up your own as a healthy alternative to this classic kid favorite
• English muffin pizzas – whip these up in the toaster oven in less than 15 minutes when you’re having a dinner dilemma
• Miniature foods – bite sized foods are fun to eat and easier for kids too

There are endless ideas so get creative and experiment. Veggies are often the hardest foods to get kids to eat, so see how you can find ways to make vegetables fun. Try presenting broccoli and carrots arranged standing upright in hummus, cheese and fruit platters, and peas or soybeans in the shell. And make sure you eat your veggies too—kids will have a much harder time accepting them if dad doesn’t like them either.

Get the kids involved. Kids of all ages can learn to cook and it’s a fun, family-centered activity with plenty of jobs to go around. Get your kids involved in meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking, and they’ll be more likely to eat and appreciate the foods that you cook for them too. If you’re not much of a cook, try learning together. Read food blogs, try online recipes, and watch Cooking Channel and Food Network shows. Share the recipes that you create together online or make a YouTube demonstration video. Before long, your kids will be making dinner for you.

It’s hard not to spoil your kids when you don’t get to see them as much as you used to or they’re no longer living with you full time. Parents just want their kids to be happy and healthy more than anything in the world, but many parents have concerns about spoiling their kids because they’re not sure how to strike the balance between what kids want and what’s best for them.

Wealth, money, or material possessions don’t spoil a child. Children become “spoiled,” or always expect to get their way, when they aren’t given boundaries or limits by their parents. Buying a child lots of toys or scheduling tons of fun activities won’t spoil a child in itself, but failing to set rules and boundaries will. And when a parent sets rules and regulations and then gives in to keep a child happy, the child learns that they are in control of the parent.

Newsflash: kids like rules! Kids need and want structure in their lives because it’s reliable and trustworthy. Part of structure is setting rules, limits, and boundaries, but they don’t have to be delivered to children as “rules.” Explaining your actions and decisions to your child in a loving way can help them understand where you’re coming from and to accept your decisions calmly.

Spoiling stems from parents trying to make parenting easier on themselves—in the moment. Every parent has caved into buying their child a candy bar in the checkout line or a toy in a department store to keep them from having a tantrum in public. But this type of repeated behavior can lead to spoiling. Parents cave in the moment to maintain temporary control, but over time the child learns how to behave in order to get what they want, even if it’s acting out in an unacceptable way.

Allow younger kids to have tantrums. Tantrums are a fact of life for most parents. Giving in to what a child wants in order to prevent a tantrum is exactly what leads to spoiling. The price you pay now—dealing with an uncontrollable child and possibly public embarrassment—leads to benefits later, which include children who understand their boundaries and that no means no.

Spoiling isn’t caused by economic class. Although wealthier parents can afford to spoil their children more with things that cost money, spoiling more often comes from allowing a child to do anything that isn’t part of your parenting plan, such as sleeping with you, staying up late, or breaking rules without receiving punishments.

Striking a balance between freedom and structure. Children are very independent. They want the freedom to do things their way but they don’t always know how to make the best choices for their own health, safety, or well-being.

Working with your children instead of against them can help create the structure they need without the resistance. Children can be very open minded and may be willing to listen to and try to understand your reasoning for the rules you set. And explaining your decisions can help your child learn to make similarly wise and responsible decisions on their own.

Anti-spoiling tips. Keep these (mostly) easy tips in mind when interacting with your child on a day-to-day basis to help prevent spoiling.

• Don’t set a rule and then take it back. Backing down teaches your kids that there aren’t repercussions for their actions. If you set a rule, stick by it, and don’t set rules you can’t or won’t hold to.
• Let older kids help set the rules. For example, if your teenager doesn’t understand why they have limited television hours or a curfew, talk about it together and see if you can arrive at an acceptable limit. Given the chance, your child may set a responsible limit for himself and then be more likely to self-manage it too.
• Let treats be the exception, not the rule. When treats become a regular thing then they’re no longer treats, making it harder to come up with something bigger and better to use as a treat instead. Whether it’s junk food, late nights, sleepovers, or shopping sprees, make sure you limit things that are supposed to be saved for special occasions.
• Don’t offer bribes. Bribes can be very effective for getting your kids to do what you want in the moment, but over time they lead to false expectations and entitlements. Don’t offer rewards, trades, or exchanges either, as these are forms of bribes too, if you’re only using them to get your kids to do what you want in the moment.