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Dads: 3 Ways to Help Your Teen Daughter Through Tough Times

Although dads and daughters should be bonding at every age, the teenage years can be the most tumultuous for parents and their kids alike. As children start to bridge their childhood years into adulthood, it can be a confusing, difficult, and emotional time. When it comes to dads, daughters may seem downright impossible to communicate with or understand during the teenage years. But this is the time when “little” girls need their fathers the most, so don’t give up on her. 

father and daughter Dads: 3 Ways to Help Your Teen Daughter Through Tough Times

Take a look at a few simple ways to reach out and help your daughter get through the tough times of teenaged life.

Be a constant presence. No, you shouldn’t go with her on her dates or show up randomly when she is hanging out with her friends. Technology has made it easier than ever to let her know that you are thinking of her, even when you aren’t there in person. Send text messages and emails, and even goofy selfies to keep her smiling. Let her know you are always just a text or call away and that you are always thinking of her.

Share your stories. It may seem like an ancient history to you, but relating your own struggles as a teen and young adult may ease some of her own anxieties. Talk about the times you faced challenges, or made poor decisions, and how you picked up and kept on going. Emphasize that things that seem like a big deal in the moment will not matter down the road. Even if she rolls her eyes at your outdated stories and assures you that you can’t possibly understand, tell her anyway. It may make more of an impact than she is willing to share with you.

Step in when it’s warranted. Part of growing up is making your decisions, but occasionally teens need their parents to back them up. If your daughter is fighting a battle that seems to be over her head, step in and help her through it. This may be something as simple as a difficult math class that she is too prideful to ask for help to get through, or could involve peer pressure to engage in dangerous activities. While it is important to give her room to make the right decisions on her own, remember that you are still her parent and that it is okay to intervene when needed.

What advice have you heard about dealing with teenaged daughters? Use the comments below to share your own advice or experiences to help out other dads going through the same challenges.

 

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6 Spur-of-the-Moment Adventures to Bond With Your Kids

Some of the most memorable parent-child adventures don’t take a lot of planning. Simple spur-of-the-moment adventures are often the ones that kids remember most!

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Take a look at just a few ideas for adventuring with your kids at a moment’s notice.

Go for a bike ride. It sounds simple, but hopping on your bikes and hitting a local road or trail is both exhilarating and easy. Let your kids pick the routes and then follow their lead. Be sure to stop to take in the sights along the way, from trees and lakes to buildings of interest.

Camp out. Pack up your car for a weekend camping with your kids, or just pitch a tent in your backyard. Sleeping under the stars even just 20 feet from your house will give you and your kids to a different perspective on the world and each other. Pack a flashlight to share scary stories after dark, and all the ingredients you need to make s’mores. Hint: try making s’mores with peanut butter cups instead of regular old chocolate!

Plan a scavenger hunt. Turn your home, yard, or neighborhood into one giant puzzle by giving your kids clues that lead to a treasure at the end. Depending on your kids’ ages, the end prize will vary—and it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. The hunt itself is the adventure. It presents a fun way to show your personality and wit to your kids and teaches them work together toward an end goal.

Visit a local flea market or garage sale. Show your kids that there are plenty of cool products in the world that do not come directly from a store shelf. Give them a budget and let them peruse the items at a neighborhood garage or yard sale, or head to a flea market to see many unique items in one place. Pack a lunch, or make ordering lunch at the flea market part of the adventure. At the end of the day, everyone has a trinket to remember the adventure by.

Head to an amusement or water park. Research discounts at theme parks in your area and then surprise your kids with a day trip. Be sure you get in on the fun by hopping on the rides they like and getting wet on any slides or water attractions too. This adventure costs a little more than the others—but with the right planning, a day at an amusement park can be a reasonably priced way to surprise your kids with an in-the-moment adventure.

Sit around a bonfire. You don’t need to commit to an entire night or weekend of camping to enjoy its most cherished tradition: sitting around a campfire, sharing snacks and stories. Dig a bonfire pit in your backyard, or head to a local park or beach that allows bonfires. Roast hot dogs and marshmallows, and if anyone is musically inclined, sing songs around the campfire!

What simple adventures have been favorites in your house?

 

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6 Summer Activities to Do with your Kids

The summer months are synonymous with relaxation, family time, and having good old-fashioned fun. Even parents who do not have much time off from work can find ways to sneak in some warm-weather fun while the kids are out of school. Take a look at just a few fun activities you should schedule with your kids this summer below.

Go Camping

Even if all you do is set up a tent in the backyard and make S’mores in your fire pit, enjoy the warm weather the summer months afford and spend a night outside. For those kids that are more adventurous, you can take them on a weekend long camping trip. Along with your sleeping bags and bug spray, don’t forget to bring along some flashlights and your favorite ghost stories.

Visit a Fair

Head to the county fair or a local festival and split a corn dog and an elephant ear together. See if there will be any bands or musicians and enjoy an evening of live music and dancing too. The great thing about summer fairs is that not much has changed since you were a kid. You may find fair favorites of your own that you’ve forgotten over the years!

See a Movie—in the Middle of the Day

Escape the hottest hours of the day by heading to a matinee showing of a big summer blockbuster. Some theaters even offer reduced or free family movie days, so take advantage of the discounts and the quiet time with your kids.

Play Board Games

It can be difficult to pry electronic games and entertainment from kids’ hands, even toddlers. Set aside some time to disconnect from technology for the entire family (including parents) and take turns picking out board games to play.

Go Berry Picking

Summer is ripe with some of the year’s best fruits, including strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Find a local picking farm and then head out to harvest your own fruit. To make it a full experience, choose a few recipes—a cobbler, muffins, etc.—to try out with your spoils.

Work Together on Home Projects

Find a few fun ways to spruce up the home for the summer and get the whole family in on the fun. Summer is the perfect time to rearrange, repaint, redecorate kids’ bedrooms, and create serene outdoor spaces. Getting your kids involved helps them to learn new skills, contribute to the home, feel good about their work, and enjoy the new space even more.

To kick it up a notch, take any of these suggestions and turn them into a yearly summer tradition! Give yourself and your kids something to look forward to every year—spending quality time together and having lots of fun in the process.

Happy summer!

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8 Things Your Kids Should Know by the Time They Turn 18

There is no way to teach your kids everything they will possibly need to know by the time they set out on their own, but there are some basics that will take them a long way in life. Take a look at a few things you should teach your kids before they leave home below.

How to Cook

Allow your kids to come into the kitchen with you and create meals, and then give them the reins to plan a few meals of their own for the family. Talk to them about nutrition and healthy choices, and lead by example through your own healthy eating habits.

How to Budget

Talk to you kids as early as kindergarten about the basics of money—how it is earned, how it is spent, how it is saved, etc. Before they leave your house for the real world, make sure they know how to properly maintain a checking account, pay bills on time, and responsibly use a credit card.

How to Say “Thank You”

Whether they email it or send a hand-written note, be sure that your kids understand the importance of gratitude and how to properly express it.

How to Change a Tire

Don’t wait until they call you from the side of the highway to talk them through the basics of safely changing a tire. Spend an afternoon in your driveway practicing and then make sure they know to always keep the right tools in their vehicle.

How to Ask for Help When it’s Needed

Whether in a college course, on the job, or in the midst of an unhealthy relationship, be sure your kids aren’t embarrassed to ask for help when they really need it.

How to Maintain a Residence

Obviously there is a lot of ground to cover here, but make sure your kids understand the basics of living on their own, including setting up a cleaning schedule, putting security measures in place (as simple as locking the doors), and who to call in an emergency.

How to Travel Alone

Be sure that your kids know how to make travel arrangements and set out on their own when needed. Cover everything from booking the best air travel to researching the places they will visit before they arrive.

How to Give Back

They may not always have money to donate to causes that need it, but show your kids how their simple actions, like recycling or volunteering a few hours per month, make a difference in their worlds. Instilling gratefulness in your kids is a great way for them to learn to give back. Make it a point to plan at least a few family outreach projects together and encourage them to find the causes that interest them too. 

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Kids and Allowance: Tips for Success

Teaching kids about financial literacy is important, and the lessons should start at an early age. Experts say that as soon as a child can differentiate between different types of bills and coins, they are ready to start receiving an allowance. This can be as young as preschool for some kids. So what do you need to determine in advance before you start doling out the cash?

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  • The chore connection. Will the allowance be earned and based on helping with chores around the house? Or will there simply be a set amount that each child receives every week? It is a bigger responsibility for both parent and child to attach chores to the money, but for many families, it is important to teach how pay is determined in the real world.
  • The amount. You certainly don’t want to break the bank by handing out allowance, but you want it to be fair. Parents who already have established allowance amounts suggest anywhere from 50 cents to $1 for every year of the child’s age. You want them to be able to save for bigger purchases that won’t take them years to attain, but to show them that money really doesn’t “grow on trees” either.
  • Set spending rules. How will you allow your children to spend their allowances? Will you require them to save some of it, or will you give them the whole thing to spend as they wish? Determine if there are any items that are a definite “no” and discuss some money-spending options with your kids in advance of handing them the money.
  • Create an allowance schedule. Decide when you plan to pay out the allowance every week, and then stick to it. Show your kids that just as they are expected to complete their end of the deal in a timely fashion, you are committed to holding up your end too.
  • Pay with small bills. This is just a suggestion – but kids will be able to wrap their mind around the money more easily if they can divide it up and spend it in segments. Make sure they pick a safe place to keep the cash until they spend it, and set aside an envelope for any allowance they determine that they want to save.

Giving kids a modest allowance is a smart way to prevent yourself from spoiling your kids and also to explain the give-and-take of financial matters. This could even open the door to talking about your own family’s budgets and household bills.

Do you give your kids an allowance and have any philosophies? 

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6 Cheap and Fun Summer Activities for Kids

Summer break is a great time to reconnect with your kids and gain back some of the family time that is given up during the school year, especially if summer means extra time spent with your kids. Lining up daily activities can get costly—but it doesn’t have to be that way. Take a look at these six ideas that do not take much planning or money to pull off:

  1. Build a fort. Even older kids will get a kick out of this activity that takes creativity and teamwork to complete. You can either start by drawing up a plan, or just make it up as you go along. Pull out old blankets and pillows, some cardboard boxes, and a flashlight and let your imagination do the rest.
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  2. Go camping. Find an off-peak time to rent a campsite and spend a few nights away from your normal routine. The best part about campgrounds is that they usually have some built-in activities for the price of a site, like hiking trails, canoeing, or even a swimming pool. Don’t forget to plan for a campfire and another summer tradition: making s’mores.
  3. Find a free movie. A lot of theaters offer special showings of movies during the summertime that are completely free. Usually they are older movies but you still get the big-screen experience for a fraction of the price.
  4. Watch fireworks. This is the ultimate summertime activity, whether they happen on the Fourth of July or for a different summer celebration. With the exception of paying for parking in some areas, this activity is completely free, and a completely carefree way to enjoy a night under the stars with your kids.
  5. Head to the library. Summertime is perhaps the busiest time of year at local libraries. There are summer reading programs, kid-centric crafts, and visiting authors who stop by to read from their books and sign copies. You can usually pick up a summer brochure from your library, or even see what is available by going online.
  6. Play board games. Kids are so into electronic gaming nowadays that dusting off a few board games may actually be a nice change of pace. Introduce your kids to your old favorites, and pick up a few secondhand titles from garage sales or thrift shops.

What inexpensive ways have you found to have fun with your kids in the summer months?

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Growing Up: Preparing for Your Child’s “Firsts”

There are a lot of “firsts” in the very early years of parenting. First smiles, first words and first steps are among the many new things parents get to witness and document. While those are exciting milestones, perhaps some of the most important “firsts” in children’s lives come when they are faced with decision-making for the first time, outside of their parents’ shelter.

Sleepovers, R-rated movies, school dances, dates, and time driving alone are just a few of the nerve-wracking firsts parents face. While parents cannot be involved for every new experience their kids encounter as they grow, they can empower their children to make smart choices, be safe, and still cultivate their own independence.

Here are some tips for preparing your child, and yourself, for the inevitable firsts of growing up:

Outline expectations.

Do not assume that your kids know where to set boundaries. Before they head out on that first date or attend the post-prom party, remind them what you expect in their behavior. Try to make it a conversation between the two of you, and less of a lecture. Do not threaten them with punishment, but let them know that there will be time to experience grown-up things, but in the meantime, they should enjoy being young safely and responsibly.

Have an open door.

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Make sure that your kids feel comfortable coming to you to ask the difficult questions of life without fear of punishment. This does not mean that you should let every action slide but you should make sure that if they make mistakes, you are there to help pick up the pieces.

Talk to a friend.

Perhaps you are friends with the parents of some of your kids’ friends—take advantage of your shared knowledge and camaraderie to make it through “first” experiences. If you do not have these connections, seek out family members or colleagues who have older kids that can give you some firsthand advice.

Remember that growing up happens to everyone. It is bittersweet for parents to watch their kids transform into young adults but there is no way to slow the process. Instead of trying to hold your kids back or keep them in a bubble, show them how to be responsible in adolescence so that when they finally do leave your nest, they are ready to be successful adults.

Above all, keep in mind that parenting doesn’t stop when kids start to enter adulthood—it just changes. With the right adjustments, you can ensure your child blossoms into their young adult years and that you make it out in one piece, too.

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5 Ways to Help Your Kids Through a Divorce

Divorce is never easy, particularly when children are involved. While parents may experience some relief following the end of a marriage, we must remember that after divorces, kids usually deal with feelings of loss, sadness and confusion. Fortunately, with time and a little help from mom and dad, things can and will improve.

Parents can help their kids through the early days by keeping the following suggestions in mind:

Allow negative emotions.

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You may find it easier to paste a smile on your face on the hard days, but do not expect your kids to do the same. Allow them to tell you in a respectful way when they are angry, sad, or confused. They should feel comfortable asking you questions and getting honest answers. This is all part of the coping process and will you bring you closer in the end.

Play nice with your ex.

If it is too soon to have a good laugh together, at least be civil when it comes to your ex. If you have a complaint, take it straight to him or her and never make your kids the middlemen. Remember that even if you have fallen out of love with your ex-spouse, your kids will always love both of their parents.

Keep routines as similar as possible.

If you can, keep your kids’ normal schedule in place during the divorce transition. Keep them in the same schools, same sports, and even keep things like bedtimes in mind. There is so much changing in their lives, so provide some stability by keeping their routines as even as they were pre-divorce.

Show up together.

You likely have a custody arrangement for spending solo time with your kids, but look for opportunities for that time to overlap. When possible, both of you should be at important events at the same time so that your kids still enjoy the benefit of two involved parents.

Seek counseling.

Find a family counselor or therapist to help you and your kids get through this new phase in your lives. Schedule time to meet individually and as a group. Even if you have never sought professional help in this capacity before, take advantage of having a professional guide you to the next phase of your family life.

Remember to avoid feeling guilty about our divorce. Instead of looking back, focus on your family’s future. Put your kids first and you will all come out on the other side with your emotions in tact—and closer than ever.

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5 Reasons to Celebrate Dads

Father’s Day only comes around once every year, and for those 24 hours, it’s all about the dads. It’s a deserved honor and one that gives children of all ages a chance to reflect on their own fathers and the influences they have had on their lives. Dads should be celebrated all year round though, and for more reasons than because it is what a calendar says.

Take a look at just a few of the reasons why we should all celebrate dads:

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  1. Dads are fun. Sure, there are serious moments, but overall, great dads are just big kids at heart. Dads are automatic teammates, video game opponents, and pillow fight strategists. In a world seemingly filled with authority figures, kids can count on dads to bridge the gap between adulthood and childhood and keep things light.
  2. Dads are smart. There are a lot of things about life that dads impart to their kids, and much of it cannot be learned in a text book. They have a way of expressing their ideas in understandable ways. Dads tend to find the teachable moments in everyday life and make them meaningful to their kids.
  3. Dads are sensitive. While a lot of fathers have a reputation for their tough guy exteriors, deep down they have a soft spot for their kids. Whether it is helping them work through a difficult homework assignment or listening during frustrating times, dads provide shoulders to cry on and arms to embrace life’s challenges. 
  4. Dads always answer the call. Whether a little girl needs help fishing her doll out of the toilet, or a young man in college needs help moving into his first apartment, dads are always at the ready. Dads offer manual labor, rescue services, and a lot of volunteer hours too. Kids of any age can count on dads to come when they call, and to make everything in life just a little bit easier.
  5. Dads are the underdogs. There are some really awesome moms out there, and sometimes that can overshadow all the hard work that dads are doing too. Research has found that dads today are more likely than their own fathers to be involved in the everyday lives of their children and to help with domestic responsibilities on a larger scale. Dads work hard and we should recognize that every day of the year. 

What are some other great reasons you can think of to celebrate dads? 

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Weekend with the Kids: 48 Hours of Fun

If you have shared custody of your children, the moments you do have together mean so much more. The best way to pack the most fun into your time together is to plan ahead. Here are some suggestions from Father’s Rights for spending a fun weekend with your kids, and making every second count.

Saturday

  • Start by taking your kids to breakfast. It doesn’t have to be anywhere special , but kids always enjoy a chance to get treated to pancakes and orange juice.
  • Head to a local park. Work off some of the excess energy from breakfast by heading to a free, local park with plenty of green space. Pull out the Frisbee or football and make up your own versions of the sports. Pack a picnic lunch and enjoy it in the beautiful sun.
  • Catch a matinee movie. Cool off together by catching an early movie. Theaters are usually less crowded at these times and tickets are cheaper. Let your kids pick out the movie that you see.
  • Head to the grocery store. Ask your kids what they want for dinner and head to the store as a family to pick up the ingredients. Let them pick out a few separate food items or snacks to have back at the house. Don’t forget about dessert!
  • Cook together. Back at the house, find easy ways for your kids to help in the dinner preparations. Assign age-appropriate kitchen tasks for kids and employ their help in setting the table.
  • Eat family dinner around the table (not in front of the TV). Enjoy the food that you’ve all prepared together and talk about plans for Sunday.
  • Relax together. Spend the rest of the evening just being together, whether you watch television together, read a book, or just sit near each other in the living room tapping away on electronic devices.

Sunday

  • Make them breakfast in bed. They will get a kick out of the room service and you can show them your breakfast specialties.
  • Head to church or just take a neighborhood stroll. If your family belongs to a church, use Sunday morning to attend worship services. If you are non-church goers, take a long walk together around the neighborhood and enjoy the nice weather and great company.
  • Meet up with friends for lunch. Invite friends to your home or meet out somewhere. Ideally these friends will have children around the ages of your kids, but even adult ones can provide a new, fun perspective.
  • Spend the rest of the afternoon getting ready for the week. This is a great time to check in with your kids and see what’s coming up on their schedules. Help out with homework, practice music or sports skills with them, and find ways to incorporate yourself in the days that you will not see them.
  • Eat dinner together. Before your kids head out for the week, take one last opportunity to eat a meal together and talk about life. Talk about your favorite parts of the weekend and let them know that you are looking forward to the next time you are all together.

You don’t have to spend a lot to give your kids a fun time every time you are together. Look for ways to unplug and just be a family. They will appreciate your efforts and look forward to the next weekend visit. 

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