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Making custody sharing plans work takes both parents’ cooperation and planning. Probably the most difficult and emotionally charged issues facing divorcing parents is child sharing cooperation. After all how can parents whose lawyers are forcing win-lose tactics in court blustering to take no prisoners suddenly be expected to shift gears and play nice where little Louie is concerned? Even more confrontational embattlements require scaling where false allegations of child abuse have been filed. Rejected as incredible, now forcing the false accuser to charitably share Little Lois with the father Mom recently attempted to skewer as a perpetrator, cannot be expected to go smoothly.
Keeping the peace police calls cannot always timely assure that little Louie and Lois will actually end up seeing Dad.
All the psychological studies prove, if nothing else, that parental interference with children’s contacts with both parents causes grave injury to the very children the recalcitrant parent is trying to manage away from the children’s timely and safe transition to the other parent. That’s why the courts often require custody exchanges at police stations. How comforting must that be for children to be made to believe that parents are so evil or unreliable as to require police oversight?
“Custody X Change” software is one
Program to help parents perfect a solution where they want to cooperate to see that exchanges accomplish timely and smoothly.
The heart of the matter, however, is in the hearts of Mom and Dad — without a forgiving spirit and a truly loving sense of protective oversight for their children of divorce — no electronic digital software program will help save precious Little Louie and Little Lois from trauma every day a custody exchange is to occur.
Wrecking your own adult lives is bad enough without electrocuting the hearts and minds of your children as an extension of your anger and design for retribution.
Lawyers too often fear taking the high road for fear of losing a client. Remember, as soon as your money dries up, most lawyers are going to cut and run — and probably talk shop amongst their brethren about you later as examples of why they never should have taken your case in the first place. Lawyers who stand up for children are sights for sore hearts. Few and far between.
So you need to take charge and when it comes to your children, lay down your arms that fire hate, and pick your children up in arms that support love and nurture and faithfulness — if not to your parenting partner, then to and for your little defenseless ones. PJM ‘FathersRights.Com’.

Waiting for a best friend, our sons and daughters are patient, faithful and loyal to the next moment their Mom or Dad, separated by the collapse of commitment, or the desires of the heart, come calling for their little loved one. Having had nothing to do with his loss of his intact family together as one, the child of divorce might nonetheless feel like the guilty one, ‘It must be me; but what did I do wrong?’ he might be asking. More concern for his feelings of wrongdoing as culprit for his beloved Mommy and Daddy no longer together for him, will be when either or both tug on his affections for the other, placing him between, saying anything to please whatever parent at that moment is pulling him in his or her direction, then feeling guilty next time he visits with the other.
It’s no win for him.
He’s alone.
He’s defenseless.
He’s been cast adrift into his emerging world with sails tattered, and engines overheating.
Where could his safe harbor possibly be?
The legal system recognizes his predicament. But that system has no arms to hug him, no time to comfort him, and nobody to reassure him.
He’s likely to grow up — if he’s that fortunate — to be just like his parents and therefore likely that his children will end up feeling just like he is now. It’s a breeder reactor that’s cooking with steam from the fuel that it is itself also breeding for the fuel for the tomorrow’s and the tomorrow’s of our emotionally disabled children’s progeny and for our grandchildren and our great grandchildren.
When will the madness end? Is he a child of the dawning of the ‘Age of Destruction’ of all that is sacred in the modern American home? PJM.

Too many Fathers of divorce and paternity status have been left behind for the baking (hyperbole) where their children are concerned. A society infatuated with progress, we as children and grandchildren of the generations preceding us have possibly little knowledge of genetic engineering politics if the Twentieth Century (“Eugenics”) or Dr. Graham’s “Nobelist Sperm Bank” of the 70s and 80s of that Century — in Carlsbad near Palomar Airport — but most of us have heard about artificial procreative science and test tube fertilization. With the politics and progressive policies of same sex marriage we too have become aware of the new expanded concept of what makes a “family” in modern America.
Of course the problem is not in the making – as with any good cookie – or even in the baking. Rather it’s in the packaging, marketing, handling, delivery and serving if these policies and anthropological paradigms that trips up parents. The slang phrase “sperm donor” can profane the act of conception from its rightful place among the most sacred responsibilities we as ‘Homo Sapiens’ or as ‘Homo Religious’ which it is possible for most of us to experience and participate by whatever process the germ cells unite ‘in vitro’ or ‘in utero’ for parents as heterosexuals or otherwise.
The focus, is the point. Our children live, laugh, breathe, cry, grow up and thrive when we harmonize for them and with them the music of cooperative parenting so that each of them, the children of thus generation and those to follow, nurture in the womb of love and care from responsible parents who accept their role for the primary good and service of our children as a sacred trust above and beyond the politics of self and selfishness that brings our trusting little ones into the courtrooms of contest, despair and disingenuous cause of self promotion and entitlement, in derogation of the sacred trust of parenthood. PJM

On the centennial for the Titanic disaster USC Classical Radio reported the story of one musician who perished whose family was billed by White Star Lines for the cost of their son’s lost uniform. Treated as second class citizens in Nineteenth Century British Society members of the ship’s orchestra played on while the ship sank that brought recognition for hero status for the Orchestra Conductor throughout England and the world. Yet the class standards of the time did not let that interfere with the shipping company’s exercise of injustice over from above the advantage of class privilege.
Like second class citizens from a bygone era, fathers today also face the indignity of bias and prejudice wrought from the ignominy of the label “Dead Beat” when falling behind on support obligations where too often ignorance of court rules is the culprit for the arrearages sometime mounting to six figures simply because Dad lost his job and was not aware that he must file a motion to modify or the court cannot under current rules change the order retroactively even if Dad is able to show years later that he had no income, was disabled or that Mom had hidden and Dad had nowhere to send the payments, or even if he had no knowledge of the order.
Making matters worse, caving to Federal Welfare Laws legislated by representatives blind to injustices they portend, State Representatives have legislated away the availability for disadvantaged Dads of classical defenses to these injustices available in commercial and criminal courts such as limitations statutes, and equitable defenses like “Unclean Hands” and “Laches”, in the rush by our State Legislatures to preserve entitlement to Federal Welfare Funds flowing from Washington that are conditioned on vigorous collection laws and procedures targeting these victims of second class status in our Family Courts.
Must Dads wait for a Century before the ignominy of second class status is recognized and deplored?
Fathers Rights Law Center has been successful when asserting one of the last remaining equitable defenses left standing in California, namely the defense doctrine called “equitable estoppel” that is based on fraud, even though Dad must prove the fraud by Mom by the elevated standard of “clear and convincing” evidence. At a time when the President is promoting Mothers to include outed Fathers in the fractured families filling the fabric of American family life, American Jurisprudence must recognize the inequity of the current injustices ensnaring Fathers in our Family Courts.

LENDER’s LUNCH & BREAK LOUNGE

Fathers Rights Law Center at FathersRights.Com fell into one of the side streams that are currently joining into a deluge in American Courts as Father – Client’s jointly owned home fell into default, Mother clinging on to the property having excluded Father last year. Mother’s campaign of alienation of the children from Father having faded before the presentation of multiple Mental Health Test protocols by the selected court expert psychologist, led to her influencing her lawyer to seize onto the opportunity to work the system to postpone a short sale that would save Father thousands in monthly utility bills to maintain the mansion ‘s grounds and power consumption long after the Court Order of sale of the bankrupt mansion had kicked in.

Forced by Father’s legal team’s strategies to obtain orders to force a short sale by buyers only too willing to take the property at hundreds of thousands under the first trust deed floor, the lender then declined approval of the sale as it salivated at a deficiency judgment funded by Father’s sizable annuity pre-marital savings threatening Father to pay up on the late payments missed, of some 12 months, or face a judicial foreclosure suit to be filed in two weeks, seeking a $300,000 deficiency judgment.

When the couple married, Mother refinanced the property adding Father as a co-owner of 1% of the property, replacing her former boyfriend’s interest, but bringing as Father did such financial resources to the table that lender was only too willing to make the switch and substitute new Husband in as co-obligor on the seven figure note.

Rather than try to negotiate with the bank, FR dot Com took the initiative and filed a multiple cause of action civil suit adverse the lender seeking damages, punitive damages and equitable relief including declaratory relief and rescission for breach of duty and sent a courtesy copy to the lender’s vice president – legal with a cover letter stating that damages would only mount as the short sale buyers faded into the woodwork rather than become entangled in costly litigation causing added losses to Father under the legal doctrine of interference with economic advantage and contract rights.

What lender had overlooked was Father’s status as purchase money buyer in the refinance as Father had never owned the property refinanced and qualified for deficiency judgment protection under California’s real estate consumer protection anti – deficiency statutes. For technical reasons Father also qualified for protected status for which lender was alleged to have violated fiduciary duties when sucking Father and his healthy separate property resources in harms way to the significant improvement of lender’s investment risks comparatively with the borrower Father had replaced in the liability sequence chain. Simply explained, lender owed Father a duty to inform or minimally to seek legal counsel before making the deal, given the lender’s intent to steal a march against him in the night shadows of the legal forest as they had.

Turns out that wiser heads were asked to reconsider Lender’s harsh declination to approve. Lender has now offered sale approval. PJM.

Divorcing in 2000 when Alisha was five (5) years old, Engineer Father, and Government employed Mother, self represented their dissolution, agreeing to joint custody for Alisha, with $450 monthly child support due Mother. Mother and Father agreed orally, however, that Father’s support due Mother would be paid directly to Alisha’s private school tuition which is exactly what Father had done for the next eleven years, the last two of which Alisha lived exclusively with Dad, seeing Mother but once.

In late 2011 Mother filed her motion for over $100,000 in combined support and interest claiming Father had been shorting her the support all those years seeking arrears plus attorney fees since Mother had long before quit her government job and was now earning less than one third Father’s salary.

FathersRights weighed in with the defense and managed a series of depositions early on well before trial in late February when two of Mother’s former best friends testified to Mother’s statements to them over the years that Father was by their mutual agreement making support payments directly for tuition for Alisha’s private schooling. FathersRights also deposed Mother who steadfastly testified to the contrary and that Father’s witnesses were never really that close to her and had reason to perjure their testimony given their recent disputes with Mother over unrelated issues.

In the past fifteen years, the Courts have stripped all but two defenses for a supporting Father to his detriment in the defense of such cases; namely, equitable support credit where the supporting parent assumes custody of the minor without seeking an order modifying the old order based on shared custody, and estoppel where admissible evidence exists that the supported party by words or conduct affirms the supporting parent’s reasonable belief that a novation has occurred and has relied to his detriment thereon.

Father established both defenses by careful calendar management and further established novation by testimony by Mother’s two former friends. He also established the expenditure over the years of over fifty thousand dollars more for Alisha than required by the support decree of 2000.

The Judge forced a two day trial to one day taking no breaks mid morning or mid afternoon. At 4:45 then on February 27 the Court ruled for Father finding he had carried his burden of proof on all issues, remarking that Mother, herself, had admitted that Father had always provided well for Alisha, and that the law provides that child support is paid for the benefit of the child, not the custodial parent.

Father and his new mate celebrated with PJM late into the evening in grateful relief and gratitude that a jurist had listened to the evidence and applied the law justly in a case where the finder of fact is often biased against Fathers for suspicion of dereliction of duty — and inclined to prejudice to consider all in similar situations unfairly as ‘Deadbeat Dads’. PJM.

“Father shall have Alex every Monday and Tuesday overnight and alternate weekends and half of all holidays and half of all no school vacations,” effective January, the court ruled Tuesday — Joint Physical and Legal Custody for the Child, a new four year old. Mother had taken Father for a long journey in alienation with Alex ever since the blue eyed, flowing blond haired two year old was old enough to overnight multiply during the week with Dad. Coaching the child to protest sleeping at Daddy’s and to proclaim ‘mommy needs me’, little Alex had been confronted with shading and brain washing since 2009, when Mom moved out and retained counsel.

Father, a licensed professional working independently in his home office business by the ocean, made time to spare to care for Alex. Two mediators and three mediation reports later consistently provided Father with increasing time with the growing toddler, over mother’s tearful protests.
Mother — well represented by experienced counsel — resisted until the last day of trial Father’s overnights with Alex. Complicating matters had been Mother’s suit filed against Father on contingent fee by a personal injury specialist to recover for what she claimed to have been the transmission to her of disease, that after two years of litigation FathersRights Law Center was able to defense lifting the shadow of accusation and persecution from Father both as the hydra of besmirchment painting Mother as victim, and portraying her as disabled from gainful employment.

Aggressive litigation tactics soon leveled the playing field as the civil action was discounted and dismissed by settlement, freeing Father for focus on his family — rebuilding at home through his engagement and with Alex as his child’s resource, playhouse architect, sailing and surfing coach and skiing instructor.

Smitten, Alex now thrives. Through counseling offered through the affordable and medical insurance friendly psychology services referred by
FathersRights.Com, Father has applied eye opening tactics to attempt to over come the negativity of legal rivalry in favor of building lasting co-parenting partnership with Mother now exposed from behind her veil of accusation and alienation.

The best antidote to brainwashing alienation by Mom, Dr. Richard Gardner had testified for the firm twenty years ago, is Dad’s steadfastly applied prescription of good will to counter by his parenting performance the Mother’s false campaign calculated to estrange Father and child.

Last seen Alex and Dad were walking the harbor, hand in hand for Alex’s next adventure underway on Dad’s Bayliner cruiser.

Last seen Mom ran crying in defiant protest to the Judge’s ruling from the courtroom — Father fully primed to continue his fence mending efforts to salve for Alex future wounds that will surely result unless Alex regains the willing cooperation of both parents for his welfare and best interests. PJM