TWO FOR THE RIDE

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This Fathers Day we are wishing that all separated and divorced fathers as well as those who remain happily conjoined with their children can all experience the joy of their day in celebration for their paternity along with their partners and the natural products of their paternity.

Being ‘Father’ is, however, more than a biological connection. It is a state of mind. Too often fathers having experienced separation and divorce have been made to feel guilty by bad policy or by the bias that attaches in some form or another to every custody and support case that it is Father who stands tested before the inquisition of the law as to having to show good reason for wanting to spend more time with little Jules, or to have to pay less support than ordered for Juju because he has lost his job or his unemployment benefits have stopped.

Two are along for the ride — biology and belonging. Without demanding entitlement , without diminished attitude our country’s Fathers must state their case. Take the Dad whose daughters have been mercilessly falsely indoctrinated to believe by mother of their father’s improper motive every time he bathed them when little girls in the tub. That same father who had been confronted upon returning from active duty to a locked door and a call to 911 every time he came by for his appointed custody time for his children, who when appearing in court to pursue contempt proceedings against the alienating mother, found himself after the hearing confronting a deputy escorting mother from the courthouse in his presence merely because mother’s lawyer whispered to the deputy that mother feared father. A civil rights violation? An actionable violation of due process? Or just plain bad policy? Need I have added that Dad’s ancestry as well as Mom’s hails from Liberia, while the deputy and Mom’s lawyer have Caucasian skin?
Now, does that fact add to a cause for redress under the Federal and State Civil Rights Acts? Certainly questionable law enforcement policy has confronted one father’s sense of how society regards fatherhood — law enforcement knee jerks towards uncritical judgment favoring a woman’s false claims of domestic disparagement even in a courtroom where Dad has sought redress for a Mother’s violation of court orders.

In conclusion, let this Father’s Day
be a day for celebration honoring more than the genetic bond between every father and child — let’s also celebrate in honor of every father’s right attitude that he as father has value that transcends the biological ties spawned by his Y chromosome. His paternity originates in our Western culture from our First Father that for whom among many in our Occidental theologies there can be no greater good! Our fathers like our mothers arose together from the gardens of our common ancestral progenitors — one Male and one Female! Happy Father’s Day to all.

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